on redemption

Malachi 4: 1-6

Luke 24: 30-35

lord knows 
walking this broken way for so long 
always onward, 
always upward
hardened the soles of our feet 
out of feeling

our lungs ache for clean air 
while still the wildfire soot stirs 
and our pilgriming, desert bones cling 
tight as a bow string 
to life that is not ours to have forever

we have learned the hard way
(because those older, gentler ways are lost to us)
to turn our hearts toward each other 
even when we let each other go, 
learned how, yes, 
love is gathering under, but 
love is also 
emptying out 

we say we didn’t ask for it,
but maybe we did— 
we surely keep on reaching for 
everything, 
even what isn’t meant for us 

maybe that’s why it hurts so much, 
why our arms are trembling 
as much as our lungs 
with the weight of it all—

but 
(and it is a secret we only whisper) 
we can’t really hold it all
can’t really feel it all 
can’t really be the end all be all
can’t be forever
and isn’t the drought of despair a beautifully tragic lie
we love to believe? 

we tell ourselves 
no one is coming
to save us, and 
lord knows
everyone must make 
their own choices, 
best they can

lord knows 
you can’t make anybody choose life, 
even if you really want to 

but haven't we known, 
really known, 
sometimes just for a fleeting moment, 
our hearts burning within us
there is something, someone 
walking with us, 
holding all things together, 
even carrying us? 

isn’t it strange how 
the same pain 
can either make us stone 
or make us tender? 

lord knows 
you will make of us what we want,
whether it is tender 
or it is stone 

I believe,
at least I believe for those of us who want to unbury
those gentler ways of living 
that neither our feet nor our hearts 
will be hardened 
forever 

I know one day
when the rains have come 
and gone,
the light of the sun will 
fall upon us
and it will be like 
starfire:
eternal, bright and burning 
within our hearts

through the growing pains
and the mending pains,  
we will labor and 
we will dance 
upon the ashes, 
watch a fire that doesn’t burn us
return the earth to life 
that will be its and ours 
to hold forever 

just you wait
a little while,
we’ll make these streets 
livable again

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